Is this me?

Weird meditation session today -
Metta (lovingkindness) meditation part II - Sending Lovingkindness to a Benefactor
Dude, it's hard!
It's also hard because I am so used to praying to Tara a lot.

Red Jambhala
Red Dzambhala (Tibetan: dzambhala marpo) is the manifestation of Vajrasattva. The God of Wealth, embracing the consort Vasudhara.
Red Jambhala's goodness helps those who chant his mantra recruit more talented people and get more money. He protects wealth and can make you popular.

So Tara bobs above my head as I do this. Travis is my focus. Usually I see Tara above the other person, too, but this time I became more aware than usual that I am Tara, and I felt myself floating above Travis's head as he was sitting at his desk! Then I realized I wasn't Tara at all, but Red Jambhala! Except I didn't know WHO I was, I just pictured myself, then I went on the internet and figured it out! Dude, that's weird!